[March 5-April 14, 013]
Woah, it's been a long time. Also LJ looks completely different now; I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm quite sure I don't
like that all the spaces have disappeared from between the paragraphs on my stories. What a pain in the ass to fix.
My impromptu vacation is going fairly well. I've actually been writing again, which is awesome and feels really good. It's been a very long block--or rather, a very long time during which I've directed my writing instincts to other avenues. I still haven't gotten back into original writing, but that is just a whole different problem. I can't find anything to write about that feels worth
writing about. It's frustrating. I'm also really self-critical about my original writing and I feel like the stakes for it are so high. This is kind of ridiculous, as it's not like I have to show my original work to anyone, or try to get published, but, I don't know, I can't help it. It's quite paralyzing.
I do want to get my fanfiction projects under control, though, at least. I recently got myself together enough to post a new chapter of the Epic. But I still have maybe 3 unedited chapters, plus approximately a ton left to write. I also have several, mostly long, Sherlock pieces that have been sitting around untouched for a while, and it all gets more obnoxious still, because my current projects folder is full of so much crap, finished and abandoned stories and blah, blah, blah. I'm not even totally sure what's worth saving anymore and what's not. Most of the Sherlock stuff I'm going to try to continue, and hope that the large hiatus in the middle of each piece isn't apparent in the writing. Unfortunately, I'm not super excited about any of them. What I really want is a writing project that excites me. I can't even clear out my current ones and start over because a lot of them are long. But they give me something to work on, which is good, at least.
I just feel like I need to get my mind around all of these projects, especially the stuff I need to edit and post (which is quite a bit of stuff, actually) and the stuff I should just give up as abandoned. There are so many old projects in my writing folder, barely-started original works, fan works for fandoms I'm barely in anymore, like Star Trek. I'm just so insistent when I look at them that maybe I'll finish them someday, but right now the clutter is just really driving me insane. Getting rid of all of that disorganized mess is one of those projects that I think will be so easy that I can just do it one evening when I'm tired and have nothing else I feel like doing, but then as soon as I start I realize it's harder than that and I actually don't want to do it now, and thus it never gets done. At some point, I just need to prioritize it.
Like today I am prioritizing making this list of current projects, something I always think will be helpful but only sometimes is. Oh well.( Current fandom writingCollapse )
So it's literally been about a month since I started this entry because I've just been working on it a bit here and there. I'm back at work now and busy and stressed and during the time when I'm not busy I'm just vegging, so not a whole lot of writing has been going on. I'm still hoping that having written all this out has helped me, and that when I do have the time to get a bit of work done on these projects, I'll have this to look at to see sort of where I am with them. I don't know, might not be helpful at all. I still feel overwhelmed. More specifically, I feel like I never really have the time to sink my teeth into any of these works; almost all of them will require some amount of re-reading, orienting myself in the universe again, and that sort of thing, and all I have time/energy for is a hundred words here, a hundred words there. Bah humbug.